Puns 3

Would you rather wrestle in the ring or strike a goose? Either way it's going to be a smack-down.




To those who have a deep understanding of breaking into computers, I hack-knowledge you.


I don’t like my cosmetology teacher. She won’t let me do makeup work.

I asked the dry cleaners why they ironed my clothes twice, but they wouldn't tell me. I know they're repressing something.

If I had to name an indoor stadium where it was customary to make fun of Latin dancing, I would call it the Mock Arena.

Looking back on the way I used to drive my car, I'd have to say that I didn't use the rear-view mirrors like I should have, because things were out of focus. I guess hindsight is 20-20.

I'd like to pay tribute to Caesar for the monetary system he came up with.

My math teacher is constantly changing the genetic structure of his curly hair. No one can explain the perm mutations.

I have a child-doctor friend named Petey, who is gradually losing his effectiveness. I call it Petey-attrition.

Why do we always wait to RIP on people after they are dead?

Social Fragmentation and Social Isolation quote

"I am constantly using this column to argue that social fragmentation and social isolation are the fundamental problems afflicting America today."

- David Brooks, in "Where American Renewal Begins" (July 26, 2018)