My work this year has been to obtain a master’s in administrative education from BYU. To achieve this goal, I am vigorously engaged in a full-time internship at Brighton High School four days a week, as well as 12 hours of classes at BYU on Wednesdays. My life is consumed by these two entities.
Tomorrow is my last day at Brighton, and it has been a wonderful experience. After Thanksgiving I will begin my second internship at Sunrise Elementary School in Sandy. This should be easier, in that there will be essentially no after-school supervision assignments, and maybe even time during the day to do homework – things pretty much unthinkable at Brighton.
The real reason I’m here is to express something else that’s been on my mind… Bono, Balboa, and Brett.
During these past years I have aged much. My body inches forward to 40. I have a recovering meniscus and a tender rotator cuff. I haven’t played basketball for six forlorn months. I am putting on weight, and find it rare to have the energy and time to exercise (not to mention the ability to resist the sheer beauty of a brownie). The responsibilities of father, husband, and adulthood in general slow me down, weigh me down, and age me. My career as a middle school teacher the last few years dented me, left me worn thin. There is so much to do right now in my life, so much to look after, and so much to be concerned about. I am becoming more fuddy duddy than I ever would have imagined. In many ways, and inadvertently, I have kind of been packing it in and giving up. This is not a good thing.
Recently, however, my attention has been drawn to the lives of three extraordinary men who have demonstrated an exemplary resurgence in their lives: Bono of U2, Sylvester Stallone in Rocky Balboa, and Brett Favre of the Green Bay Packers. In Bono’s case, the band seems to defy time and the odds by continuing to produce fresh, challenging, insightful, artistic music – despite their 30+ years together. Their most recent album is incredible. In Stallone’s case, his last Rocky movie inspired me deeply by its courageous portrayal of an aging man refusing to give up. And finally, Brett Favre, who almost retired last year, is at the age of 38 leading the NFL as a quarterback, playing passionately, and leading his team to a very successful year so far. He’s like a young man again.
The message of all three teaches me that age does not determine when a person loses passion for living and achieving. The body, heart, and soul are more resilient than I had given them credit for. Life is meant to be lived, not just gotten through.
I want to live life fully! I want to live happy! I want to be an old man someday who can look back with profound satisfaction that I lived a life worth living, gave, served, had fun, perhaps even made a difference. I don’t want to live half a life. I don’t want to cower in fear, retreat in the shadows, resent, regret, etc. I want to be the kind who jumps in the river and swims with the current, going wherever its God-guided current takes me, and not a geeky, complacent, by-standing observer who kept his hands in his pocket, his mouth shut, and never even got his feet wet. I don’t want to live my life observing other people living on television. I want to live my own reality, not that of a television watcher or cyber citizen.
Counsel to self: Trust God. Strive. Wriggle. Visit a museum. Sniff the outdoors. Laugh. Speak out. Give. Do not live life or drive on cruise control. Let there be variety. Let there be some risk. Don’t always wad yourself up in schedules, deadlines, tasks, perfection, pre-calculated action, or coverage.
In the immortal words of Cliff Mayes, professor at BYU: “Who needs a hug?!”
1 comment:
Tim,
It's good to finally see a fresh blog from you. You pontificate so well, it's a pleasure to read. You make me want to throw out the TV and live on a beach somewhere with my family. But I won't. Not just yet. But if you do, please invite us to come visit.
Ken
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